There’s nothing ever assuming about a chicken tender. They’re a creature comfort on a long drive, golden catharsis when done correctly, and relatively accepted by most people. However, I kept stumbling over this video as more people were cross-posting it from Tiktok. I know some ambitious person ate those KFC hot honey tenders and were like “YEAH I CAN DO THIS”. And they did. The problem is the narrator speaks so quickly that it’s hard to follow along. There are no captions or alt text ( there might be by now, I don’t know I don’t use TikTok), and if you’re like me and need someone to speak up and give concise instructions, you’re left to your own devices and fake it. I dreamt of eating them with a bucket of Diet Coke. We don’t have many accessible chicken places in my part of Portland.

Recently I made them on a whim, slowly dredging and accidentally letting them cook too long in olive oil because it’s all I have, thus making my breading slightly burnt and saturated with oil. 4/10. I knew I could do better.

Honestly, this is a lesson of knowing how to properly dredge and fry. Let’s go…